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Copyright (c) 2010 Willie Horton

In chatting recently to a client who was on the brink of making a major upward career move, I was told that, whilst he was totally relaxed in almost a carefree way about everything that seemed to be just effortlessly happening around him, in his odd quiet moment he still heard a little voice inside him whisper “No you can’t!” We all have voices in our head, some that egg us on, some that put us down, some that put us under such pressure that we are paralysed when it comes to our moment to perform. Many of my clients talk of those niggling voices that won’t leave them alone, despite an adult lifetime’s journey to distance themselves from these voices. Some of my clients can actually put a name to the voices that they hear – Dad telling me that I’m bloody stupid… I’m lazy… I’ll never be anything, Mum telling me that I’ll never get on in life… Mum asking my why can’t I be more like my sister. All of us have these inner voices.

And it is these inner voices that skew our self-image. More often than not, it is these inner voices that are at the root of what people blithely define as “low self-esteem”. But what is “low self-esteem”? Indeed, what is self-esteem at all? I am aware of the definition of the words – valuing your own attributes and talents. But who is doing the valuing and who is being valued? Are there two of you – one trying its best to do better, the other constantly critical? Have you a split personality that, despite your best efforts, will always make sure that you fall on your face? After all, why would I put myself down, why would I countenance entertaining the idea that I might be suffering from low self-esteem, why would I want to self-destruct?

Well, when you think about the “voices”, the answer to these questions kind of becomes blindingly obvious! You’re not trying to self-destruct, the people who made those remarks that struck a chord or stuck in your throat all those years ago are the ones that started this “self-destruction” process. Perhaps they said what they said with the very best of intentions – to try to give you a bit of “get up and go”, to inspire you, to motivate you to achieve great things – or perhaps they were going through the motions as parents or teachers. Whatever their motivation, you’re stuck with their voices rattling around inside your head – and there’s nothing you can do about it, they’re part of who you are.

Or are they? Perhaps, instead, they are part of who you think you are. Perhaps, after all, there is some form of split personality within – one being judged, the other bringing all the prejudices of those who made an impression on you during your formative years to bear in criticizing you and putting you down. There’s no perhaps about it – we are all involved in an internal battle of sorts. There is our personality – from the Latin persona, meaning a mask – which is the accumulation of all the self-beliefs that you picked up during your childhood. Your personality is comprised of the things, people and events that impressed you when your mind was open and sponge-like, including those voices that we’ve talked about. Your personality thinks it’s you – it thinks that you have all these perceived inadequacies that are, in fact, nothing more than the throw-away remarks or prejudices of those we encountered during our formative years. This is who all normal people think they are – their personality, a mask concealing the real you.

The real you lies within, beneath that formative years “programming” that has falsely led us to the conclusion that we’re suffering from low self-esteem or lack of self-confidence. The real you doesn’t have the flaws that others told you that you have. The real you is, to quote Nelson Mandela, “powerful beyond reason” – the real you can change your life. Or, more correctly, the real you can enable you start living, because hiding behind a deformed mask thinking that it’s you could not be described as living at all. And the great news is that the real you is only one step beyond the normal person’s grasp – a simple step that is well worth taking.

As I said, those “inner voices” will always be with you – they will never go away. But you, as a responsible adult can decide to not listen to those voices because, as a responsible adult, you can choose as to where you will devote your attention. And the choice is a simple one. You have two simple options – and the right choice is obvious. Here are your options: you can choose to waste your attention on people and events long past that make you feel bad about yourself or you can choose to pay attention to what’s actually happening now. Take the first option and you’ll believe that your suffering from low self-esteem – you really will! Take the second option and you will by-pass your programming and discover that your free to live your life without those voice-shackles – that you’ve given yourself permission to unleash your inner power. And your inner power, if correctly focused, can lead you to places your mask-personality cannot take you (but that’s for another article).

How do you pay attention to the present moment? Well, it’s not as if you’ve never done it before – we were all experts at it as children – where we explored each new now with all of our five senses. You’ve got to become again like a little child to enter the life that’s waiting for you here and now – you’ve got to lose your perceived life to find the real one.

Willie Horton’s acclaimed two-day personal development seminars have been running for thirteen years. He teaches that a clear and present state of mind creates extra-ordinary personal and business success. His vast expertise is now available in his Online Workshop at Gurdy.Net. His website also offers daily free personal development video seminars, articles and a Free Personal Development Ezine published every Monday morning.
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How You Can Improve Your Memory Here pf

Boost Your Memory Here ph

Learning how to win people over is like learning how to swim. It might feel a little odd at first, dipping your toes into the world of flattery and pleasantry; but you’ll eventually get the hang of it. And when you do, you’ll be able to swim your way through anything!

Being a necessary skill to have in life, knowing how to win people over can secure a lot of things for you. Read on to find out just how you can do just that.

Tip # 1: It’s All About the Other Person.

People love to talk about themselves. And that includes you! However, learning how to win people over means you have to curb your mouth.

You might be itching to talk about your achievements in life; but in this game, you need to get other people talking about their own accomplishments and interests. Encourage people to share more about their life.

But don’t just pretend to listen. Show genuine interest and make sincere comments. Do this as perfectly as you can and I guarantee you that by the end of your conversation, they will have a better opinion of you.

Tip # 2: Be on Their Side.

If you want to learn how to win people over, stay on their good side. That means no criticism or complaints about a person’s appearance, principles, work ethics, etc.

If you’re still in the initial stages of building rapport or trust, you two have not yet reached a point where your negative opinion can be taken with a grain of salt. At this point, you can’t afford to jeopardize your relationship with the other individual. Not just yet.

If you can’t keep your thoughts to yourself, at least do your best to avoid starting an argument.

Tip # 3: Say Their Name.

A person’s name is probably the sweetest word in his vocabulary; and yet a lot of people take names for granted.

Even if it’s just a waiter or a waitress, calling them by their name gives you brownie points. You might be a hot shot corporate executive earning ten times more than a waiter would ever make in a year; but if you’re courteous to that person and if you acknowledge his name, you’ll always be remembered as that nice customer.

And the next time you return to that restaurant, that waiter is going to make sure you get all the good stuff and that you’re well taken care of. Respect garners respect.

Learning how to win people over is one of the most important lessons you’ll ever study in life. Use it wisely.

Discover secret conversational hypnosis techniques to easily win people over and make them fulfill your every desire, without them knowing it! Get a FREE course that reveals some of the most groundbreaking mind control techniques and secrets at http://www.20daypersuasion.com/secrets.htm
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Is life great? The nine to five grind is no fun if you’re the average joe.

First, you don’t own your time. Rather than vacationing in Aruba, you’re making coffee for the evil boss. Second, the pay tends to be paltry. Seriously- can you live of just $2000 a month? That would barely pay the rent- or a hot date. And third… corporate life often entails slugging it out in a den of snakes. How enjoyable is it to work with backbiters, intruigers, money grubbers and insane management.

Bottomline is, the corporate life isn’t a cakewalk, particularly if you’re at the bottom of the rung. But who says you have to be at the bottom of the food chain? You can remain there for life- or you can BE the boss. Corporate success is a matter of choice, not random fate. You can be the big shot with just the right moves. Here are the top five ways to get to the top with minimal effort:

MASTER THE ART OF BRAGGING.

Corporate executive coaches Steve Nielson and Dr. Joseph Plazo assert that humility in the office helps no one. If people don’t know your accomplishments, the bosses won’t promote you. Hence it’s important to brag- but subtly. When you accomplish a daunting task, make sure you announce it by telling people what’s in it for THEM by taking advantage of your completed project. This way, you take the edge of the boast.

PASS THE HONOR.

When people love you, they’ll toot your horn. It is therefore vital to pass the praise to subordinates and colleagues who helped out. Make sure other people shine because when they do, they’ll feel great about you- and they’ll make you shine.

ALWAYS BE THE FIRST MOVER.

The boss needs volunteers? Never mind the Saturday night game. Offer to do it! It may be a bummer but he’ll remember you next promotion and appraisal day.

APPEAR LIKE AN EXPERT.

Experts don’t need to know everything. They simply need to know a tad more than the rest. If you work in a marketing firm, it will be good to invest in a marketing journal. That way, you know cutting edge data that your boss  doesn’t know. He’ll be impressed by your extra know how. Whatever industry you’re in, take pains to know trivia in the field. Then raise it in conversations.

GET SOME CREDENTIALS!

Let’s face it. A Mister doesn’t have the same clout as an MBA, PhD or Engineer. There are schools that let you have the three letters after your name in just six months. With a title, you can accelerate faster than your boss on the corporate ladder. Invest in one today. Within six months, you won’t only be an MBA. You’ll be THE BOSS!

Article Source:http://www.articlesbase.com/self-help-articles/top-five-tricks-to-get-promoted-this-month-1565934.html

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How You Can Improve Your Memory Here pf

Boost Your Memory Here ph

Does writing in a journal help in personal development?
I was just wondering.

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How You Can Improve Your Memory Here pf

Boost Your Memory Here ph

i have to have a 10-15 minute personal development program for a scout group ages 10-13 and i need something that is interactive. plz help

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How You Can Improve Your Memory Here pf

Boost Your Memory Here ph

I’m interested in sites that either contain information about personal development or suggest some tasks or even online personal development trainings. Free or paid, doesn’t matter. Please recommend something to me!

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How You Can Improve Your Memory Here pf

Boost Your Memory Here ph

If you were in the marketing for a personal development coach, who would you use?

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How You Can Improve Your Memory Here pf

Boost Your Memory Here ph

The era of personal development in which we exist, echoes the message ‘You are here to find your purpose’. The implication is that once we find our true meaning and purpose for living, we unlock the key to health, abundance and happiness. Anyone responding to that call finds themselves on a path of self-discovery in search of the holy grail of one’s unique purpose and meaning. There is no shortage of information, direction, processes or value systems beseeching us to heed their solutions. Nor is there any overriding system enabling us to evaluate the merit of their claims. We find ourselves alone in this pursuit, journeying alongside others who equally seek this seeming nirvana. What myths surround this ubiquitous search for meaning? What are the unquestioned social and cultural assumptions that limit how we approach this experiential journey?

I suggest the following myths about the nature of finding purpose in contemporary western society:

1.Purpose must be altruistic or for the good of others

When people talk of finding their purpose, there is invariably an association of its philanthropic or altruistic nature in the service of others. Purpose is often associated with achieving something for the good of humankind or contributing to something bigger than us. When someone chimes up with ‘My purpose is to be happy’ responses or validation to this position are couched in ‘Yes, when you are happy you can be of value to others, if only in terms of how you teach or inspire others by how you live’.

2.Money and purpose are diametrically opposed

Purpose is seen to be above the accumulation of wealth or riches. Those who achieve great monetary wealth often meet with cries of ‘But will it make you happy? What is it all for?’ Dr. Jo Vitale, author and contributor to the film The Secret says ‘I tell people that the spiritual and the material are one. They are two sides of the same coin. Anyone who says a material anything isn’t spiritual is being self-righteous. The Divine created it all, including you, me, and really nice cars’. (Vitale 2008: 17)

3.Purpose is the most valuable existential pursuit of individual meaning

Individualistic cultures impose another limitation, the pursuit of self-actualisation, upon those seeking purpose. Despite the altruistic focus on evaluating purpose, the individual is implored to ‘find themselves’ before they can contribute meaningfully to others.

4.Life has meaning and purpose and once we find it, we will be satisfied

The pursuit of ease or peace is considered the goal of meaning making. Pain or suffering, if seen (within one’s value system) as important lessons along this path of meaning-making, is seen to be rewarded with recognition later in this life or beyond.

5.Purpose is singular and having multiple purposes reflects an inability to fully embrace the sole purpose of our existence

The desire for definitive answers limits how we consider purpose, as if it must be focused, singular and clear. This limits us and negates us tapping into our uniqueness and ways in which we could have multiple purpose, albeit with imbued with common values.

These and other myths limit our ability to objectively consider the infinite possibilities of what purpose might look like. It is as if when ‘All we have is a hammer, every problem becomes a nail’.

Dr Jo Vitale, (and I paraphrase), challenges people who say ‘I don’t know what my purpose or passion is’. He responds with ‘I don’t believe you; you are lying!’ Whilst his response might be seen as perpetuating the mythology of purpose seeking, I believe his response offers an opportunity to view purpose differently.

What if we consciously or unconsciously make purpose seeking inaccessible (by hoodwinking ourselves by these myths) in an effort to relinquish our responsibility of what finding it would really entail? What if rejecting a more complex and expansive view of meaning making assuages the anxiety we fear will result once we no longer have an excuse for anything we want to create.

In considering your purpose or the purpose of the very nature of Being, step back and try to bracket the myths and assumptions that limit how you view this worthy ideal.

Source:http://www.articlesbase.com/self-help-articles/the-myth-of-finding-your-purpose-1518037.html

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I define personal development in this case when the work you do is something that helps you grow as a professional and individual.
Working for money is normally when someone works something that is not necessary what you like but helps you to get your economic goals.

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I can’t really understand, since that each human being is responsible for his or her own fate, and personal development techniques provide us some way to work through it.

But why are certain people saying that this is a bad thing?
After all its purpose is genuine good, are those critics not striving for excellent themself?

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