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Couples tell us how couple yoga classes, counseling and introspection helped them iron out their relationship differences .

It is a curious group that meets every third Sunday at this yoga institute. They are men and women, seeking answers for not just health issues, but also to gather insight about deeper relationship problems. The couples are from varied backgrounds – from the just-marrieds to the much-marrieds. But they have a common objective: to resolve the invariable conflicts that plague every relationship, with a little help from yoga.

“Yoga is not just about Asians, it’s a way of life. And relationships are an important part of it. The yogic philosophy equips one to approach a problem realistically,” says director of the yoga institute, explaining the concept behind the couple yoga classes that helps couples understand one another better and save a floundering relationship.

HOW IT WORKS
In a class, firstly, a case history of a couple going through a rough patch is discussed and thrown open for analysis and possible solutions. This is followed by a session with expert counselor and psychotherapists. The participants then break into individual groups, where under the guidance of a co-coordinator, a topic is discussed threadbare – finance, parenting or accepting partners’ differences. An asana session follows where the couple practices meditative techniques, relaxation and stretching postures, and finally prays together.

It doesn’t end here. Once every month, the group meets again – at one of their homes or a neutral venue, with their individual co-coordinator. Here the couple is given ‘homework’ comprising tasks aimed at questioning chinks in a relationship and steps to resolve them. They are expected to follow these steps, the success or failure of which then comes up for discussion at the next meeting. Gradually, through mutual discussions, internal questioning and group activities, they take steps to tide over their differences.

Atul and Manisha Ramchandani, married for 18 years, enjoyed good communication between them, but had different worldviews especially regarding parenting. “I preferred a relaxed approach while Manisha was the disciplinarian,” says Atul. If Manisha refused the kids any freedom, they would rush to Atul who would give in. Another bone of contention was her apparent spendthrift nature and inability to bond with in-laws.

The issues could have escalated but they decided to take up yoga together. “Yoga helped me relax and when the mind is calm, chances of conflicts get reduced,”.

Sharing their experiences with like-minded people and listening to others’ problems prompted them to look inwards. “I remember talking to a young guy who praised his wife a lot. I wondered if I was appreciating my wife enough,” he adds. “Gradually, my sensitivity towards her increased.” This new-found maturity also reflected in other spheres, notably in their interaction with their kids. “We made a conscious effort not to fight in the presence of children, unlike earlier. Also we learnt to give in, leave our egos behind and give each other space,” says Manisha.

MONEY MATTERS
Having a long marriage doesn’t necessarily equip you to understand its complexities say Anand Rao and his wife of 32 years, Mita. The biggest blow to the relationship came when Anand suffered a huge financial crisis. It could have snowballed into something major, but yoga sessions helped them bond better. “Earlier I would have held him responsible for the situation. But then I decided to be supportive at a time when he needed it the most,” says Mita. “Our relationship was always good, but now we injected a dose of spirituality which helped us look at problems differently.” The couple say they’ve understood the meaning of marriage. “A successful relationship is about giving, not just taking,”.

SMALL IS BIG
It is the smallest things that can lead to the biggest fights, realised Sharad and Priyamvada Waghmare, also one of the earliest coordinators of the couple yoga classes. She was the quintessential cosmopolitan girl while he came from a fairly conservative background. “Before marriage, my wearing western outfits was never an issue, but after marriage I was strictly told to sport only sarees. Plus, every habit – from stepping into the kitchen to cooking to attitudes towards each other was different in his house,” says Priyamvada. Initially, these issues caused a strain, but the Waghmares used simple gestures to resolve problems. “For instance, if there was some argument at the dinner table, he would nudge me slightly or indicate through body language that he supported me. Such small gestures mattered hugely,” she adds. “I also learned a lot from others’ experiences,” says Sharad. “I understood that helping my wife in the kitchen, taking care of household matters – which I ignored earlier – meant a lot to my wife.” The couple have learned an important lesson for a happy marriage: Whether you attend forums or go for counseling, remember that the lessons are for yourself, not your spouse. So change yourself first.

I am writing this article in behalf of Health and Beauty Secret. This website is give you complete guide for Beauty Care and Yoga Tips.
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Everybody will agree to the fact that our own changing lifestyles are playing havoc with our life. Instant food habits, long and stressed working hours, lack of ‘constructive’ entertainment and hobbies, utter lack of personal bonds with pals, so on and so forth. Well, diseases don’t happen to us suddenly; this is a known fact even among noted scientists and researchers. Certainly we as human beings inherit certain disease traits. But the acquired factors add the manure to already fertile soil of disease-proneness and the crop of ill-health emerges.

One of the fast-growing problems in above mentioned category is eating disorders. What are these? How do they develop? Can we do something about these problems; homeopathic and otherwise? Let’s see-

Some apparently uncommon causes that lead to eating disorders are:

* Childhood negligence of right eating habits-

I have been observing that this is one of the most important causes of eating disorders. Many parents come to us complaining about their child’s eating habits. Barring few cases, I almost always find myself preaching the parents (rightfully obviously) than saying something to children. Almost always parents wish that I should scold (in their words) their children or tell them something fancy so that they will agree to their parental demands about right eating habits.

I often end up asking parents how often you have taken efforts to improve your own eating habits. If you all know that children are the best imitators, isn’t it mandatory that as a parent you should follow certain norms? Many times we find that those parents who always complain that their child eats lots of chocolates and candies, are the parents who gave him candies for every (so called) good accomplishment by their child. And when the same child reaches an apparently non-manageable age, they complain about such tendencies.

Therefore, it is must to inculcate the right eating habits (along with the hygienic part) in the children right in the crib. Avoid bottled feeds to young children and if it is mandatory, follow the safety and hygiene norms yourself to ensure maximum purity. Do not fall prey to the demands of your children just for the sake of them. Be strict where you need to be for their sake.

It is seen that the irregular eating habits developed in childhood are often carried to adulthood leading to lots of serious disorders including diabetes and heart maladies. Remember, the lifelong health can be achieved by the right eating habits.

* Spending less time with children-

We can call them attention deficit eating disorders. Due to lack of parental attention or love, child gets into a bad habit regarding his eating habit, behavioral pattern or anything else. I have seen cases in which the parents stay away from kids whole day and when they return in evening, they tend to feed their child with all the nonsense food they bring from instant food shops. Also they tend to fulfill all demands of children, to annihilate their guilt of staying away from them whole day. Well, we can understand the need of staying away but we must not entertain the need of stuffing the tender tummies with all the things that tend to cultivate bad eating habits in the long run.

What does “spending quality time with kids” mean? It has become a fashionable statement by parents these days and when asked what your favorite hobby is, most parents answer nodding their heads positively, “to spend quality time with our kids!” Do we really do that? How many times have you sat besides your son or daughter while he or she eats wholesome food prepared at home? How many times in a week you take out time to play some “food-game” with him that will educate him about the positive and negative food items playfully? How many times your family has dinner together?

It is my earnest request to all parents to give sufficient time for their children and make them feel wanted and loved. This in turn will pay you huge dividend and your child will remain on right track as regards the eating habits. Just spend the following week like this and see the difference. Remember if you sit watching television or chatting online and shout on your child who is not eating as per your wish, you are committing a crime for which your son or daughter pays the price!

* Lack of physical activity

The recent global survey states that there is consistent reduction in the number of children playing out in the playgrounds. And there is consistent increase in the number of children playing computer games, video games, and watching television. What does this suggest? Certainly being computer-savvy is essential but this must not compensate for their play-time outside the house. Build awareness about physical fitness in children at very young age. Regular physical activity helps induce natural appetite and child tends to eat well. But it is important that when your child is hungry, give him good food to build up muscle tissue and avoid fatty stuff that burdens him or her with empty calories.

Apart from the above mentioned causes, the genetic factors, financial factors, and familial relations are some of the etiological factors those lead to disordered eating habits in children. The end result is either undernourishment or obesity. Sadly enough, obesity in childhood is fast becoming one of the global problems that need to be tackled at root to avoid future problems like hypertension, diabetes, and hyper cholesterolemia.

How homeopathy can help?

As I always say, unless the above mentioned factors are corrected, no treatment will be of help. Firstly stop blaming your child and introspect where you are getting wrong. Correct yourself and there are more than 50% chances that the child will get back to normalcy. But when the child needs further boost to improve his appetite and curb the innate tendencies, homeopathy can help.

Being a complete mode of therapy for child, once you resort to homeopathy, there is little need to think about any other treatment module for all the small or big problems that crop up every now and then. Homeopathic medicines act at the root level when properly selected. Proper selection of apt remedy depends upon right interrogation with the child and his parent/s. Yes, the constitutional remedy should be the soul choice while treating such inherent tendencies in children. It is well said that when the child’s inherent tendencies are properly groomed at early stage, there are quite good chances that he or she will grow up into a healthy and mature human being at later stage. What else do we wish as parents?

Dr Shreya Deshpande is a senior homeopathic consultant of India and is running Online Homeopathic Consultation Services at http://www.drshreya.com. She has penned several articles and papers regarding homeopathy and is a popular homeopath and a health counselor in India. Watch her health blog www.drshreya.blogspot.com for interesting health info.
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Cumulative grading points average: Introspection.

Mondofacto online medical dictionary defines cumulative grading point average as  “the numerical average of  all the student’s grades achieved during the study at an institution”. The system is introduced to cut unnecessary competition between young minds for scoring higher marks.

But what has been accomplished by introducing the GPA to evaluate the performance of the students via the earlier percentage system. The introduction of the system has rained in confusion as recent experience of admission seekers to class XI has borne out.It is meting out discriminatory attitude to ISCE  Cth pass outs. The evaluation of these students as per CBSE guidelines is miserably putting them in lower status leaving them high and dry.

In the backdrop of the CSSE guidelines, students who have got E grades will have to clear their papers before July,if they have to secure admissions in class XI.Earlier they were admitted to class XI, and given five opportunities to clear their compartment papers. A Layman fails to comprehend if grade E meaning “needs improvement” is read as “compartment” ( as it used to be termed earlier) then what is the point of introducing confusion in the system.

More than nine lake students appeared for CBSE class X exam which was held under the grading system this year.Of this 13000 students have been given E grade.3000 students from the city are in this E bracket. District Eduction Officer has denied them and compartment students of Punjab and Haryana Board admission to Class XI,unless they clear the EIOP exam in July and secure grade D or above.This is more stressful than the earlier system of allowing multiple chances to the student community.

Tie breakers also pose problems. Students getting grade A2 are all those who have secured marks between 80-90%. A school having, say, 35 seats and getting 40 applications of the same grade needs to refuse admission to five shall be at a quandary to decide whom not to admit. ‘Administrative climate’ in our country being well known to everyone, it  will lead to ‘siphaaris’ or other via media for admission.

We see some schools adopting grading system in the elementary classes,but that is the age,when the pupil is completely ignorant of its effects. But in higher classes, percentage differences up to two decimals is taken into consideration for ranking. CBSE chairperson Vineet Joshi saying “We will come up with detailed guidelines for schools by March end. Our guidelines will clarify how to break a tie. It is a pilot test and we hope it will work well.” However, I am unaware of any guidelines.

Private Schools in Chandigarh have been given to work out their own options for admission. Most of the private schools are minority schools. These would prefer to work out their own norms as they have been doing till now. Any guidelines to them shall be challenged in the minority commission as unnecessary interference in their working  and allegations of arms twisting for admissions shall surface.

It  has rightly been  pointed out the grading minus internal assessment means little and it  has rightly  been assessed that “the mark sheets handed over to the students does not make any mention of cumulative marking in activities except the annual examination.” It is obviously difficult to eliminate the confusion thus created as all schools do not have identical facilities and infrastructure that is pivotal to assess pupil’s merit.

On the other hand, teachers complain that the new system has turned them in office routine stealing their teaching mode. Work load of the teachers has increased manifold and it is causing  them rising stress levels. If this allowed to persist, we can imagine that the good spirit shall cause evil effects.

It is true many countries have devised cumulative grading point average in their education system but this is no ground to introduce the same procedure in our system without first evaluating its fall out on Indian horizon. Our HRD Minister Kapil sibal’s intentions can not be questioned, but he could not foresee policy’s hiccups is well established withstanding the first year’s experience.

Satish Chandra Sharma,

General Secretary,

Chandigarh Social Welfare Council,

R/o # 1605, Progressive Enclave,

Sector50-B, Chandigarh

Cell: 9888-255-128.

A Post Graduate in Economics from University of Delhi and a Social activist now. Presently as General Secretary of Chandigarh Social Welfare Council, an NGO, am working in the field of up gradation of infrastructure and regularization of the General Power of Attorney holders in cooperative housing societies at Chandigarh.At my initiative, Chandigarh Administration has done a re-look into the matter raised by me. The rules sought to be applied till now have been observed as \”repealed\” by the JSF, Chandigarh Administration, yet some of the junior level functionaries are passing on the matter to their seniors in a mechanical manner and hence the woes of the hapless GPAs have yet to be redressed by the Administration. I shall continue writing on the subject and every subsequent article shall endeavor to bring out the anamolied
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Preface:
As a freelance writer I’m often drawn into an awkward and cyclical quandary. I know the general topic I want to write about, the place, the time, the events, the activities, et al. But the perspective; that’s the tough part to choose. I often take the easy way out, writing a rambling expose or travelogue detailing and colorizing the minutiae of my activities on a particular trip or sojourn. While that fills copy space and generally gives editors a safe piece with which to fatten their publications, it can become mundane if is the sole format presented to the readers. For this piece I am taking an introspective view of my experiences and externalizing them in an attempt to present a different flavor for the readers. I hope that you enjoy it.

George
For years I’ve been a skier. I know lots of skiers and plenty of non-skiers too. As I began my plans for a trip to Beaver Creek, CO for spring skiing 2006 several of my friends began asking me about it. Where was I going? Why did I choose that location, or time? Why skiing, and not taking a swimsuit/beach trip? Still others; cloistered far from any adventure or athletic venture seemed entirely mystified by my intentions. I began to think about the components of my ski trips which make them so desirable and attractive to me. The word I selected as representative was euphoria. Euphoria. It sounds straightforward, and seemed to me that its parts and mechanisms would be so clear to even the simplest rube. But until now even I had no real idea what elements and ingredients made up my euphoria. So with pen and paper in hand I struck out for Beaver Creek in the fabulous Colorado Rockies to perform a dissection of my own psyche.
What follows is an ingredient-based recipe, which is without order, preparation instructions or relative quantities.

FEAR
Without a doubt fear plays a role in my personal happiness when taking to the slopes. Perhaps it is the approach-avoidance reflex that tells me that hanging high in the air from a mile-long, 2-inch cable along with hundreds of others just doesn’t seem like it can work. Or maybe it’s the mental calisthenics that jump through my brain when I look down a black-diamond mogul run, knowing full well that the light is beginning to flatten, my wheels have already started to fall off, and I have half an altitude buzz. I’m no psychologist but, damn, I know fear when I smell it. So the question is right in front of me, virtually under the tips of my skis (which are now cantilevered into thin air over the precipice of the run.) Do I go on? Do I look for an easy way down? The answer is, and I suppose will always be, a firm “it depends.” But that’s the elemental reality of fear. It’s not to always take the steep way down, or the easy either, but to have the moment of choice. To stand at a challenge with your heart in your throat weighing your emotions, physical conditioning, and skills. That’s the payoff for fear. Take whichever way down you choose and never look back, the answer is the singular act of moving either way.
Many of my non-skier friends don’t understand my infatuation with skiing. They say that they are afraid of breaking their leg (arm, neck, etc) and could never bring themselves to ski. Every now and then I actually manage to talk one of them into skiing. Fear can strike like a paralysis. First, at the bottom of a bunny run looking up at the slowest moving lift, then again at the top of that same run. Those who conquer their fear are those who are willing to see it and taste it first-hand. I’ve never yet taken a first-time skier, who, after two runs didn’t have a huge smile on their face.
I’m a simple man. Fear is the simplest reaction to the unknown and the unsure. It is one of the emotions that boost our body and mind to produce endorphins and focus our attention to a specific task. A daily supplement of fear strongly blended into my ski day helps to make me feel better and have more fun.
For my daily infusion of fear my photographer John and I calmly caught the “Birds of Prey” lift which services the steepest runs at Beaver Creek. Golden Eagle and Peregrine are both listed by BC as double-black-diamond. Did we have our grooming maps? Was I really looking to ski one of BC’s famous groomed corduroy runs anyway? Naah.. We don’t need no stinking grooming maps! We had warmed up for the day and were feeling pretty perky, and seriously… we had fresh wheels, sharp edges, and good snow. How tough could it be? At the top of Golden Eagle I attempted to take some measure of that exact evaluation. It looked pretty daunting, a quarter mile of serious vertical, and a sea of monster moguls chock-a-block from side to side. I’ll admit that my heart was pinging a bit in anticipation as I surveyed the run from the top. Two choices lay before me; one way straight down, another an exit to an adjacent blue run. And on that day at the top of the moguls, I looked down beyond the tips of my skis, and I chose…

ADRENALINE
I asked my wife Amy, a nurse, recently about adrenaline and how it worked. She replied by giving me a very medically appropriate (but meaningless to me) definition:
Adrenaline n : a catecholamine secreted by the adrenal medulla in response to stress; stimulates autonomic nerve action
Ok… I asked again, making sure this time to let her know that I wanted to know for myself what this stuff is and why it’s so important. It turns out that adrenaline is the turbo booster for our bodies. It’s generated when we need it to fight or to run and gives our bodies and minds power and focus. Fun stuff. It turns out that we can get this stuff flowing on demand if the circumstances are right.
Medical lingo and physiology aside, adrenaline is a rush, literally. Beaver Creek has plenty of adrenaline producing runs which allow even a schlub writer from the Midwest to live large and fast on the mountain. The turbo effect that’s generated provides the strength and concentration to really enjoy skiing. While fear may play a part in kicking me into high gear, when I add some speed to my skiing I begin to approach a feeling of flight. I rarely, if ever, leave the ground while on skis! That’s not the point. The point is that skiing provides a mechanism to get a serious physiological buzz. So dear reader, I say to you: You gotta get some of this stuff!

Where’s the best place on Beaver Creek’s mountain to get your adrenaline cranked up? Well, again that’s a serious answer of “it depends.” For myself, I can’t sustain an entire day of knee pounding bumps, or uber-steep slopes. I choose for myself a mix starting with some early morning warm-up blues and greens. One intrepid para-sail pilot was getting jazzed by flying over BC on one of my ski days there. After limbering up and finding my balance for the day I like to advance to some darker blue and black runs. By the end of day I look for something that’s free of ice and hard-pack, with the length and width to do some cruising. Spring skiing can be a real mix of dramatically changing conditions. I found myself in some sunny slush near the base, some seriously gnarly chunk and ice crud in remote places, and deep in fresh powder for a couple days too. Again, I often choose to ski the mountain, not the grooming report.
Word to the wise about high altitude skiing. Your physical mechanisms are doing a ton of work, especially with your adrenaline turbo kicking in during the day. Keep yourself hydrated and fed. Drink as much water as you can, whenever you can, and eat high carb and high protein foods to fuel your machine. Save the alcohol for après ski time, and save yourself a few doses of adrenaline for the evening. Adrenaline, it’s not just for skiing.

COMFORT
Try as I might, I just can’t strap on the Ipod and crank Metallica or Slayer and ski all day. With much of my youth in the rear-view mirror I like to take to the slopes with the same balance that I look for elsewhere in my life. Sure it’s fun to do some mogul mashing and top-to-bottom speed runs. But maintaining an equilibrium of activates has become very important to me. The Roman philosopher Terence said “Moderation in all things.” Well, since I’m Greek and have never held much use for the Romans I need to make a small change to Terence’s message. I’d prefer to state simply “All things”, to Hell with moderation. Going to Beaver Creek and looking for moderation is like going to Miami Beach and looking for a little water. BC has tons of variety, and it has an almost embarrassing overabundance of everything that a skier would want.

I’ve been told that BC is a good shopping venue too, what the military would call a target-rich environment. But since this is my introspective (and I am a fully accredited non-shopper) I can’t provide any accurate detail. Feel free to shop and browse through the many stores and mercantile outlets in the BC village. Buy, don’t buy, enjoy. Just don’t expect me to keep you company.
Amenities are important but ease of use is high on my list of positive features that I look for. The invisibility of an apparently good administrative organization while personally having freedom on the slopes to ride, cut, or mash is amazingly easy at BC. In the village restaurants, bars, equipment retailers, etc (the list goes on) are all handy for all my eating, drinking, equipment, and other requirements. And on the mountain? Hey, sometimes you need to nosh a bite or stop for a bio-break; it’s nice that they put plenty of places there too.

After a day of skiing there are a couple great places right at the bottom of the Centennial lift to have a drink and a snack. If you’re lucky the sun will be shining and you can sit outside and watch the last of the skiers descend the mountain as you enjoy your drink and reminisce about the day’s activities. My photographer, John, likes to enjoy his “apple juice” which is really CC & 7, for myself my traditional après ski drink is hot-chocolate with peppermint schnapps. I assure you, that you will be happy when a lovely waitress brings you either of those.

BEAUTY/RAPTURE
I sometimes wax poetic when I get out west skiing. The amazing mountains and the deep sapphire skies paint a dramatic background for my downhill activities. There is a special place in my brain that gets switched into high definition mode when I’m in the Rockies. If you’ve never been there, it’s hard to explain. I could try to tell you about the snow and the mountains and the vistas and all the rest. But certainly I would fail to convey the effect. Even photographs, though they may be accurate and colorful, fall short. My advice: get yourself out to see the mountains, get into them, and ski them. Then before you knock off for the evening, exhausted from the day’s exertions, get your coat on and step outside into the Dark Colorado night. If you can get yourself to Vail mountain, take the gondola up to the Eagles Nest in the dark to the top, it’s a free ride and very cool. Take a deep breath and a long look up through the crystalline sky to the heavens and the stars. It’s can be an amazingly calming and poignant moment.
I thought to follow in the great historical avenues of other Greeks like Homer, Aesop, and Euripides by writing an epic poem celebrating the amazing cornucopia of nature. This was a short-lived concept which died on the vine as I immediately realized that the time and detail required would be way too immense. So this Greek freelancer has chosen an unanticipated but more simplistic format, the Haiku; one for daytime and one for nighttime. Hopefully both Homer and Takahama will forgive me.
Sapphire blue the sky
White snow has given us wings
Golden sun smiles down
Stars in the darkness
The Mountain slumbers in peace
Silence casts a calm

PEOPLE
I meet the most interesting people in the mountains when I go skiing. There are people from all walks of life from all parts of the globe. I’m a fairly gregarious guy and I enjoy talking with new people I meet, pretty much everywhere I go. It’s part of who I am, and it sometimes drives my wife and friends crazy. But I talk to virtually everyone who rides the lifts and gondolas with me, and I never tire of hearing their stories. John and I rode the lift with a 72 year old Argentinean woman who was skiing with her 5 granddaughters. She has been skiing virtually her whole life and didn’t show any signs of stopping. I met doctors, lawyers, bankers, ski bums, families with kids, cooks, and computer programmers of many ethnic and language backgrounds. Without exception they were friendly, warm, and most of all happy. Of course they were happy, I know that I was certainly very happy. We were all skiing in Colorado what’s not to be happy about?

FUN
Fun is the measure of quantity and the spice flavoring all the other ingredients listed here. Use it liberally, aggressively, loudly, and with verve.
Nothing but fun… On a side trip to Vail at night I took a stint at night bike-skiing. If you’re looking for a bit of nighttime fun that’s ski related I can highly recommend this somewhat exotic activity.
WRAP UP

So, that’s my recipe for a skier’s euphoria, I hope you enjoy it. I know that each of you will add your own ingredients and mix them in your own unique proportions. Take my advice and get yourself out skiing, or if you’re already a skier; keep it up and don’t stop.

Read more at www.FirstLightSports.com

George Karioris is the Senior Feature Writer for www.FirstLightSports.com George has had a desire to write since his school days where he occasionally contributed to his college newspaper. He has written for some online publications producing mostly travelogues for visits to various ski venues. George wants to bring the excitement and beauty of his sporting travels to the web through his feature articles. When on the snowy slopes he loves steep cruising ski runs where he can let his skis run. An avid road biker, George pedals in many organized rides plus near daily solo head-clearing rides. When he’s not biking, skiing, or writing for First Light Sports, George works his day job writing software for a large financial institution. E-Mail: george@FirstLightSports.com
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Most of us question our life’s purpose or direction from time to time. Sadly, many of us are so preoccupied with the daily routines of life or navigating one crisis after another that we don’t give our life’s purpose or direction serious consideration. Even for those of us that do contemplate our life’s purpose or direction, often times a void still exists. This void is deep in our soul and lays at the heart of our subconscious, becoming conscious every time life’s distractions give way to those brief moments of clarity. In these moments of clarity, all is quiet, it is just us and our thoughts, dreams, and desires. These are the times when our subconscious allows those questions of purpose and direction to surface into our conscious mind. When that happens to you, what do you do? Do you run to turn on the television or jump on the telephone to distract yourself, hoping that the new stimuli will force these uncomfortable questions back into the recesses of your subconscious mind? Or do you get depressed and turn to mind altering drugs and self-destructive behavior to replace your fears of not knowing how to address these questions?

You may say to yourself, that you don’t have these kinds of thoughts. No, you just simply go along with life and live day to day, not thinking about your purpose, future, or reason for existing. Well, I know that to be a lie. If this were the case, the majority of society would not turn to religion for meaning and direction, nor would people go to school in search of careers that they believe will give their lives purpose and meaning.

The truth is that most of society yearns for a greater purpose or understanding of what he/she could do to make his/her life more meaningful and purposeful. I have always lived my life inside of this introspective query. Ever since I was a teenager, I was not willing to accept poverty, violence, and despair as permanent conditions for my life. I believed that there was much more out there for me. I just had to do what was necessary to grasp it. Like many, I instinctively knew that my life (the way I wanted it to occur) was within my grasp. However, the problem is, most of us do not know what to do to grasp it. What is it that allows a select few in our society to attain the life they want, while the masses do not? Why can some of us identify our purpose and stay focused on it, while others can’t even identify theirs?

The answer, those that attain the life they want do something most of us are too fearful to do, they allow their natural curiosity pertaining to their relation to the world guide their development/existence. I know I just said a mouthful, but think for a moment. When we look at world leaders, entertainers, artists, scientists, what do they all have in common? A natural curiosity that pushes them to try new and different things and to take risks and make sacrifices that most of us would shy away from. Instinctively we know that it is the willingness to try new things that leads to great new experiences, and it is the risk taking that provides the greatest rewards overtime, along with building a sense of confidence that most of us never develop. Eventually (even with the typical ups and downs of life), those that find themselves in this stage of human development, have realized self-actualization.

Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs theory utilized a pyramid to demonstrate the ascending sets of needs that human beings work to fulfill as they move through their development. On the bottom of the pyramid are the basic needs, and as one fulfills these needs he/she ascends to the next level of the pyramid or the next stage of human development until he/she gets to the final stage (a stage that few human beings every get to: self-actualization). Now, I’m not going to delve into Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs theory in detail. I leave that research up to you, but I want to focus on self-actualization and how the ascension to this level of human development will lead you to uncovering your life’s purpose.

Self-Actualization’s Role In Finding Our Purpose
You see, what made me different from most of the people that I grew up with was not my “intelligence,” no it was my willingness to follow my natural curiosity to new experiences until I found something that really caught hold of my spirit (my purpose). My curiosity led me to joining the United States Air Force, which took me all over the world in my late teens-early twenties, working for large and small companies, persevering through school to achieve a Ph.D., writing and publishing a book, teaching in college, buying a home, starting a family, and starting a personal leadership and organizational development firm. Now you must realize that all of these experiences were not in my predicted future, but unlike many of my childhood friends, I chose to ask, answer, and be guided by the answers to the following questions that constantly ran through my mind:

Am I happy with me life? If not, why?

Can I do better? If so, how?

What can I do to change my life for the better starting today?

I allowed my natural curiosity pertaining to my relationship with life guide my being and uncover my purpose. I think we all instinctively are aware of our ability to do this, but we allow fear and doubters to deter us from following our unique path and end up following the path that others have laid for us. Do you remember the main character of the Wizard of Oz, Dorothy? Well, she had an purpose in mind (to get back to Kansas), but she allowed her natural curiosity to guide her because she did not know what she would encounter or how it would turn out as she took off on the yellow brick road to see the wizard (the individual that could help her achieve this purpose). All Dorothy knew was that she had to allow her natural curiosity guide her as she followed the yellow brick road. There were many times when the path seemed scary and dangerous, but in the end, she arrived exactly where she needed to be in order to get back to Kansas. Now ask yourself, where are you heading? Are you on the path to self-actualization, or are you on a stagnant path to un-fulfillment? As with Dorothy in her journey, you have to surrender to your natural curiosity if you want to uncover your purpose and achieve your dreams. This includes becoming comfortable with not knowing, but continuing to explore and examine until you do know. You have to become comfortable with not understanding, but learn and internalize until you have an understanding. This way of living will lead you to unexpected, wondrous, and exhilarating places and experiences.

You may be saying to yourself, what is he talking about? I’m talking about self-actualization. I’m talking about living your life in such a way that you are fully self-expressed and are doing what inspires you. I’m talking about living a life that is in alignment with who you are and what you have identified (through the process of being guided by your natural curiosity) your purpose to be. Some of you may ask, how will I know what my purpose is? You will find out during your life’s journey, one led by your natural curiosity. In time, you will learn what experiences makes your energy level rise, lifts your spirits, and fills you with excitement. But, you can only find this out through trial and error, which is what makes curiosity key. Only one’s desire to know or learn something will make him/her push through failure/errors. I know that the thought of making a mistake scares many of you. Sadly, our society has made “safety” a priority, even though most of us are “safely” living a life that is un-fulfilling. So, you have to make a choice, what kind of life are you going to live-a “safe” one without fulfillment or one with stops and starts from time to time, that will eventually yield self-actualization and a sense of purpose?

Understand that self-actualization is sustainable, unlike engaging in artificial and temporal highs such as drugs and alcohol. Facilitated by self-actualization, the activities within your life becomes your addiction. You begin living a life where you can’t wait to wake up in the morning and continue what you were doing yesterday. You become filled with joy, as your life takes on the role of helping or assisting others, giving you that warm fuzzy feeling inside. Finally, you know that when you turn in for the night, you made a significant difference in the world, and that you will do the same tomorrow. This is self-actualization. This is living inside of your purpose. Sadly, few of us every reach this stage of human development or find our purpose because we are too consumed with the distractions going on outside of ourselves and not about what is going on within.

Do understand that self-actualization is not an end to your human development, but rather a high level conversation about who and what one has to do be fully self-expressed in this world. Throughout history, society has had great introspective thinkers such as Plato and Socrates, who asked thought provoking questions pertaining to humanity’s interaction with life and its sense of purpose. We seem to have lost that inquisitive nature in our society, as we constantly consume a steady diet of entertainment and materialism. My question to you is, are these distractions providing you with the kind of life that you want, one where you are fully self-expressed, one where you can’t wait for the next day to begin? If the answer is no, I challenge you to allow your natural curiosity to guide your life. I guarantee, that along the way, you will find what drives you and what inspires you, leading you to your purpose.

After years of self-inquiry and discovery, coupled with significant academic research in the field of leadership development, Dr. Barrett, Ph.D., M.S. is now ready to teach individuals and organizations what it takes to become a leader utilizing an inside-out approach.
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By enhancing your feeling of introspection as much as possible you will become much more contented with life and much more honest with yourself. There is not much to be gained by only being slightly honest or biased against your shortcomings. It is also necessary that you try to prevent seeing yourself only as a saintly being – like some of these celebrities do. By asking yourself the right questions and being honest with the answers is the best way of developing introspection.

What you need to do is to harness self-awareness to such an extent that there are no more secrets being hidden from yourself. Finding the truth about yourself, even if it’s very unpleasant, is the first step you need to take before finding answers to your problems.

To find out more about yourself you need to ask pertinent questions. Like, ” What are the things I’m good at? ” Then ask, ” what are the things I’m not good at? ” Remember it takes courage to face your weaknesses, so don’t feel uncomfortable. Once you’ve learned what your weaknesses are you will then know what to build on and improve in yourself.

Introspection is a very emotional process. To find out and understand who you are, you need to find out what are your over-riding emotions: what makes you do the things you do. What I’m asking you is to look at your emotions as either positive, or negative. When you do this it will avoid any bad feelings when you discus your emotional feelings with others.

The other thing is it avoids confusion. Think about the different ways that two separate people can describe the same thing. We may use different words to describe the same feelings. Like different people experience fear in different ways. The reason is we all experience the world in different ways. This is all down to how we were brought up by our parents, and who we associated with as a child. That’s how we have values and beliefs installed in us, all because of who we know. Think about it maybe the values and beliefs that you have now aren’t yours really, but someone else’s?

I want to ask you a question. Have you ever wanted to do something, but you were to scared of doing it because you thought people would laugh at you? I’m certain you definitely have, haven’t you? Well, the thing is we all have. The thing is, the biggest problem to hold you back, is people! It seems they all have this inner fear of making themselves look like a silly ass in front of their peers. This leads to them not doing the things that in the long run could make their lives a way lot better.

For example, maybe you were in a pub and saw someone of the opposite sex that was really attractive and sexy, but you avoided them like the plague in case they said no to your advances because you didn’t want all your friends to laugh at you being rejected. That person could have been your soul mate, but fear of failure made you into a coward. This kind of thing happens in all kinds of situations to all kinds of people. Another example might be that you’ve always wanted to take dance lessons, but were so frightened of seeming clumsy in front of the more advanced students, thus, stopping you from doing the one thing you have always wanted to do – dance like Fred Astaire.

All you need to remember is that fear of worrying of what others think of you will stifle you. Also this fear will stop you from accomplishing what you want in life and becoming the real you. Stop being scared! Think positive and good luck!

About The Author:Dion Daly is a certified trainer in hypnosis, a master practitioner in NLP and TLT. He also has a degree in metaphysics.To receive free e-courses e-books, audios and videos on self improvement and spiritual development visit our free membership site. Please click below now.http://www.mindbodyspiritdevelopment.com
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It’s cold, dark, and lonely back there in the pit.  Your thoughts are about how you’ve failed and how it’s your entire fault.  You wish that things could be different, but it is what it is, and you sit there with your head down, while the scenario plays over and over and over within your heart and mind.  Like a giant Merry-go-round, this self-defeating /self-destructive negative self-talk cycle continues within: I’ve failed; it’s my fault; I’m in a pit.  This self-defeating and self-destructive cycle is well-known to humanity; and often referred to as having:  a ‘pity’ party.   The pitiful part is: there’s only one person at the party.  Others refer to it as ‘pining for the past’, which is like trying to drive forward with your car in reverse.   You’re just not going to get very far, and you just might end up crashing a party, if you know what I mean.

I’m not saying that thoughtful observation of one’s own thoughts and feelings is a bad thing.  In fact, it can be helpful for evaluating progress and deciding on new goals to achieve.  Deciding which thoughts merit our attention and which ones we should disregard, is not only necessary, but crucial for maintaining a sound mind.  Surely, we cannot consider every little thing that every billboard and electronic medium begs us to consider.  Our hearts and minds would literally blow up!   Negative thought patterns are real and often based on fear, which can wreak confusion and disorder on a life if left unchecked.  So, introspection is not altogether a bad thing when used properly.

THE CAROUSEL

In medieval times, a carousel was a tournament where knights and horsemen engaged in various exercises and races for a prize.  In many ways, life is like this huge carousel where everyone tries to get ahead of the others.  As with the carousel, at one moment you are ahead of the others, and then, for some reason, you fall back and they are ahead of you.  And as far as you can tell, you didn’t do anything different.  You sat there, kept your feet in the stirrups, and held on for dear life!

If this was a carousel, and you found yourself ahead, this would be the time when the horse is in full ‘up’ position in the carousel pattern. That’s exactly where you want to be when it comes time to reach your finger out and catch the ring: in full ‘up’ position.  Because conquering that ring is evidence to the rest of the world or at least to the others riding along with you that you were ‘good enough’ to make the necessary adjustments, deal with the ups and downs, and still capture the prize.

But, hold your horses!   There will be times when the horse arrives at the ring while in the lowest position in the carousel pattern and the ring is no longer attainable.  So it becomes “dang it I missed it.  Not because I didn’t try, but because the carousel was at the low position of the carousel pattern—the ‘down’ position and I couldn’t reach it.”

POSITIONING AND TIMING

Now, before you go away feeling like a failure for not getting the ring, know this: everyone on the carousel experiences ups and downs.  And just because the conditions weren’t right for you to attain that ring on that go-around, doesn’t mean that your horse won’t be in the ‘up’ position the next go-around.  So there’s another opportunity out there, but you have to stay focused and reach out with anticipation and expectation.   It’s a matter of positioning, timing, and shared responsibility.  Why do I say that?  I say that because naturally the carousel will fulfill its responsibility of going around and positioning the horses in various positions.   That’s what it’s designed to do and will continue to do for everyone who rides; no exceptions!  But, the one factor that you can control is where you position yourself and what you are willing to do once you are in that position.  Think about it.  A carousel usually has 3 rows of horses, which means that many can race.  Naturally, if you choose to sit near the hub, the safest place, your chances of getting the ring are nil.  But, if you position yourself out near the outside edge, where things are moving real fast and the risk is greater, you find yourself closest to the prize.  But, being close doesn’t automatically qualify or guarantee a win.  Once positioned you have to do something that requires commitment and bravery.  You have to lean out, extend your arm full out and have your fingers ready to grasp the fleeting opportunity.  There’s the difference!   The difference is how you position yourself and what you’re willing to do to be a winner.  It’s called committing to the commitment.

One of my favorite Rubenism’s is “YOU CAN’T BE #1 ACTING LIKE #2″.  All this means is, you have to be ready even if you don’t get to go; this time.  Life’s carousel presents the opportunity, but only those who position themselves and bravely commit to the commitment get the ring.

HERE ARE 3 WAYS THAT HELP POSITION YOU TO WIN

1) Focus on what is possible for your life today, and then use your energy actively preparing for those possibilities.

2) Don’t pine for the past and its victories.  Discipline your mind’s eye to look forward because your steps follow in the direction of your focus.

3) Pray; and commit your way daily.  This action will help replace fear and paralysis, with faith and possibility.

The reality is we all go through down times in our lives.  It’s how we handle those difficult times that lead to either victory or back to the pit.  I encourage you to put your focus on what you can be today and tomorrow, and not what you were yesterday.

Ruben Colón currently resides in Houston, Texas. Core Competencies:  Relations and Quality Excellence Facilitator Background: Marine Manufacturing and Health-care Manufacturing Experience:Healthcare Experience:Professional Memberships: Toastmaster’s International Currently pursuing a career as a service excellence coach and motivational speaker.
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Ever since the stock marketing has been so volatile and lost ground over the past year it has scared many away from investing in shares. Meanwhile there are others who are doing very well with their stock portfolio.

If you are hoping at investing in shares or to discover ways you can do better with your stock portfolio you may want to consider a major key, often overlooked, when it comes to investing in the stock market.

It’s called introspection. The dictionary meaning of the word is “the contemplation of your own thoughts and desires and conduct”. Let us start off with conduct as the way we behave is a reflection of what we think at a deeper level. The way we behave in investing is critical to being successful in the stock market game.

Do you behave like an unmovable rock in times of trouble despite the indicators you should run like hell? Both of these extremes can lose you a lot of money very fast or if not utilized in the right manner could also see you miss out on outstanding investing opportunities.

Investing in shares is certainly a steep personal development program. Any good trader will tell you they spend time in introspection. Once you have determined how you behave under pressure, once you’re given advice or how you respond to media and market forces you should write each behavior down on a separate piece of paper.

Now we come to engaging of your own thoughts. Your thinking can cap your expectations and water down your desires faster than a bush fire can spread. Taking time in introspection of your thoughts about certain things and even about yourself and your chances of wealth and success is an investment that will reap a return in some form or another.

Let’s get back to your separate pieces of paper with your conduct on their. Under each thing you’ve written down write down all your initial thoughts about that behavior. Then write down the question “what thoughts do I hold that make me behave this way?”. Then write down the first thing that comes into your head. Repeat the question in your mind and write down the next thing that comes into your head. Make a mark next to each one that gets some form of energetic or emotional response.

For the thoughts that give some kind of a gut response, or emotions or a sinking feeling of some description, these are the thoughts that are determining your behavior. You want to get rid of them so they don’t sabotage your experience of life in general and most certainly investing in shares.

How you get rid of them is simply to state rather firmly that you do not want that thought anymore. Breathe through the energy and release it through your finger tips, top of your head and your feet. Take a few deep breaths as you release. Now replace that thought with one that serves you better. For example you may have the thought “I don’t know what I’m doing”.

Now it may be true so you can’t replace it with the opposite as your mind will reject it. So instead say something like “Every day that goes by, I am learning  more about what to do and when to do it”. Or my personal favorite “every day in every way I am gaining more knowledge and confidence in investing in shares. I always know what I am doing”. This is more acceptable to your mind.

So Introspection, give it a go and begin to turn any situation around in your life, not just your experience with investing in shares.

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Nobody knows himself better than him.

This seem incredibly true for those who can actually handle themselves and those who can actually benefit from the knowledge they can derive and use from knowing who they truly are.

Introspection is the habit of looking inward. Like most human activities, this would either assert positive or negative effects. There are times that reflection of one’s image may create healthy products in the person. That is, when he is focused on his entire being and in return, considers this whole picture as an effective juncture to find where and what is missing and lacking. That way, he would find means of compensating for such. However, introspection may also turn against a person when it has become too focused on the negative aspects of one’s personality. This then is called thought rumination.

Thought rumination is somewhat similar to that of a caged hamster. This is a way to run in tight circles by obsessing one’s self on a loss, or a problem or any form of ambiguity that hinders the moving on process.

But in order to build self confidence, one has to know where the problem truly rooted. This can only be done by reflecting one’s values and behaviors. If you find it hard to detach yourself from the actual situation or to stay away from thought rumination, you may rely on other people’s assistance.

But you see, any form of self analysis is beneficial so long as it is properly guided. Depending on your focus, you can either help take out yourself from having too low self confidence or to land on the floor face flat.

If you can redirect your focus on your attributes that will help you build yourself confidence then by all means do. Sometimes, even when people are around to help us, it is only we that we can actually raise ourselves back. Life changing routes usually happen when we pass by a path and find that path to be the right way for us. People may point us to our direction but without our willingness to drive us there, no amount of help can truly help us except when it comes from our self.

Self motivation will greatly affect the ways by which we build our self confidence. Unlike the detrimental habit of saying- “my life is messed up” or “my life is nothing but a good way to kill time”, you can use positive reinforcements and say otherwise.

You may not have realized it but you are a genius in your own fashion. A philosopher once said that all men have an innate beast within him. True and we can actually see these beasts manifesting in our daily affairs. Yet this truth does not negate the fact that all of us has an innate genius struggling to come out. This genius will always perform for our benefit if only we would recognize and help him grow.

It is not only negative to demean yourself but it is also unfair for the good person in you. Let that person shine and rule over your life and you will see, life truly has more than imaginable brighter sides.

In one way or another, you have to discover how to build your self confidence to actualize that genius. Whether you choose to have somebody else’s help or find your own way to realization.

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FALLING MATHEMATICS RESULTS- AN INTROSPECTION

It is a matter of great concern and serious consequences that the results of Mathematics in the AISSE examination at the end of class-X and AISSCE examination at the end of class-XII conducted by CBSE is falling at an alarming rate of 3 to 5% every year. Same is the case with other state boards too.

To check this shocking down slide, the syllabi have been modified a number of times, the question papers have been simplified, the evaluation of answer scripts have been made lenient, but all these efforts are yet to give better results in the subject or make it student friendly.

Introspection in this respect is an absolute necessity. I feel that such a state of affairs is because there have been weaknesses in Mathematics education today which are as below:

1)      Mathematics is taught as an abstract subject.

2)      Mathematics education is far removed from applications.

3)      Mathematics is taught as an isolated subject.

4)      There is too much emphasis on symbols; manipulation and very little on problem solving.

5)      Too much time is spent on routine, monotonous drill type arithmetical calculations.

6)      The goal of mathematics education appears to be passing examinations in mathematics and not understanding mathematics and its applications or developing the capacity to think mathematically.

7)      Instead of developing creativity, mathematics education encourages conformity to standard methods.

8)      The present mathematics education trains students to think that there can only be one solution to a problem- it make students’ thinking convergent.

9)      The present mathematics education trains students to think that there should be only one method to solve a mathematics problem-it never encourages them to think in a diversified way.

10)  Mathematical proficiency is often confused with proficiency in making arithmetical calculations.

11)  Process by which mathematics is created is seldom taught or emphasized.

12)  Mathematics is presented as a purely deductive science though it is also as much an experimental science as physics or biology.

13)  Geometric or Physical visualizations remain very weak.

14)  Geometric objects are construed as relations between symbols and are not curves or surfaces.

15)  The present Mathematics education convinces the students that the only law that matters is the linear law.

16)  Students develop no idea about the magnitudes of the results they get.

17)  Students are passive learners.

18)  Students do not talk, discuss, or think mathematics.

19)  Mathematics is taught as a collection of topics without noticing interconnections between them.

20)  The historical development of Mathematics is never emphasized.

Removal of weaknesses: Since these weaknesses are deep rooted and have off late become inherent among teachers and taught, its removal requires time and well formulated /organized plan of action. One such plan of action is formation of what is called “Mathematics Laboratory”.

What is Mathematics Laboratory:

It is defined as a place where:

1)      Students do experiments with numbers and geometrical shapes, discover patterns in them, and try to generalize these patterns.

2)      Students do most of their calculations with the help of scientific calculators.

3)      Students draw graphs of a large number of functions with the help of scientific or graphic calculators and try to become familiar with the graphs of all the functions they usually deal with.

4)      Students solve real life problems with real data.

5)      Students express their answers to mathematics problems in decimal numbers and not in symbols and thus have a good idea about the magnitudes of the results obtained.

6)      Students get practice in estimating orders of magnitudes and obtaining approximate answers where exact answer is difficult to find.

7)      Students make charts and models to illustrate mathematical ideas.

8)      Students do almost all the work themselves, of course under the guidance of the teachers, but students are active all the time and are involved in what they are doing.

9)      The creativity of the students is allowed free play.

10)  Students solve graphically equations involving all types of functions.

11)   Students are free to discuss among themselves / with the teachers. In fact students & teachers form joint investigating teams.

12)  Where students find areas and volumes of both regular & irregular solids experimentally.

13)  Where students take up projects both in mathematics and its applications.

14)  The concepts and theorems are not given to the students. They arise naturally from their investigations.

15)  Interfaces between algebra, geometry, probability, Calculus etc are freely investigated and discussed.

16)  Attempts are made to interpret every symbolic solution.

17)  The process of mathematics is emphasized much more than the product of mathematics.

18)  Students are encouraged to find alternative solutions and alternative methods of solving problems. Thus it encourages the students to be divergent thinkers.

19)  Students enjoy learning mathematics.

PRABHAT MARWAHA
15 YEARS EXPERIENCE IN TEACHING MATHEMATICS TO SENIOR CLASSES
HAD BEEN AN EXAMINER CBSE CLASS XII MATHEMATICS
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